Exclusive! The Real Reason Behind Cards’ Slump

This Cardinal Girl’s investigative reporting has gotten to the bottom of the Cardinals’ epic slump! While listening to the game broadcast last night, I heard an interview with Aaron Miles’ wife.  She was talking about a "Baseball Grab Bag" fundraiser she and some of the other players’ wives were doing for Nurses for Newborns.  They would be giving baseballs autographed by their husbands in exchange for donations.  The catch was that each ball would be hidden in a brown bag, so you wouldn’t know if you were getting a Bennett or a Pujols until you’d already donated.  Mrs. Miles explained the process thusly: "We’ve taken our husbands’ balls and put them in bags."  And the announcer didn’t question her.  This explains so much!! The Cardinal Wives must be stopped!!