July 2006

Game Haiku – 07/02/06 – Cards 9, Royals 7

We win, but I still
need antacid; the bullpen
provides no relief. 

Exclusive! The Real Reason Behind Cards’ Slump

Mcgwires_2This Cardinal Girl’s investigative reporting has gotten to the bottom of the Cardinals’ epic slump! While listening to the game broadcast last night, I heard an interview with Aaron Miles’ wife.  She was talking about a "Baseball Grab Bag" fundraiser she and some of the other players’ wives were doing for Nurses for Newborns.  They would be giving baseballs autographed by their husbands in exchange for donations.  The catch was that each ball would be hidden in a brown bag, so you wouldn’t know if you were getting a Bennett or a Pujols until you’d already donated.  Mrs. Miles explained the process thusly: "We’ve taken our husbands’ balls and put them in bags."  And the announcer didn’t question her.  This explains so much!! The Cardinal Wives must be stopped!!

Cards Lose Ugly…Again…

Watching these last few games has been stressful. My stomach churns the way it usually does in the playoffs when we stop hitting.  After seeing Ponson give up 6 runs and look sweatier than Elvis during his Aloha from Hawaii Via Satellite special, I turned the TV off and went to dinner.  Over a delicious St. Louis style pizza at Ponticello’s, I declared to my dad that I had pretty much given up hope on the Cards this year.  I didn’t really mean it, but I was feeling dejected.  I just couldnt reconcile how a team that had started so hot, and kept up the heat when their star player was out, could collapse and begin to look just like their lowly cross-state opponents.  After dinner, I was surprised to hear the score was 6-5, and the Cards were coming back.  Then Jimmy hit that homer, and I really felt a lift.  Then we somehow failed to score a run after having runners on 1st and 3rd with no outs.  I was then sure we’d lose, and we did – you’d dont get another chance after fouling up that, er, royally.

Game Haiku – 07/01/06 – Royals 8, Cards 7

Ponson sweats, Yadi
has topsy turvy play at
plate. Dizzying game.

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